Saturday, October 25, 2014


If there's one thing the Internet has taught us, it's how to hold an empty picture frame with our loved ones. I blame Pinterest. (David Amsler/Flickr)
Checklists are for groceries, not marriage
Posted on Feb. 28, 2014 at 4:51 p.m.

When it comes to choosing a spouse, put down the checklist.

I recently noticed an article called "10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry" on my Facebook news feed. Plenty of people I respect shared it, sometimes adding their own comments, like: "Truth" and "Amen!"

So, I bit. 

The article described 10 types of men who aren't desirable, like "the playboy" and "the addict." It advises women to run when they notice these characteristics in men. 

I disagree with that. Probably because my husband, who is ridiculously perfect for me, fell into at least a few of those categories when I met him.

When I told him about the article, we both laughed and forgot about it a few minutes later. I was shocked at church that Sunday when a pastor mentioned the article, explaining how much he agreed with it. He had even printed out 40 or so copies, and they were available at the welcome center. 

What?!?

I know how tempting it is to use checklists like this because I used to do it. It's not a good idea. I used to say that I would "never" marry someone who did this or that. 

I'm so glad I dropped that pretentious attitude and got to know the man behind the "type." I'm so glad he didn't have a checklist when he met me, because I'm sure I wouldn't have measured up in one area or another. 

We are all remarkably human. If you are in a relationship (or if you'd like to be) with another human, don't approach it with a checklist —even if it's just in your head. You'll be disappointed. 

What do you think of the article, if you clicked the link above and read it?

Follow reporter Lydia Sheaks on Twitter at @LydiaSheaks